Will you leave again?
Go and forget me?
In your absence, sorrows fill me up,
And I go back to weeping,
Complaining to my walls,
Remaining imprisoned inside a time gone by.

My tears fall,
Against my will.
My heart beats louder and louder.
My hope is broken,
My dream is murdered,
Every time I call out, the answer is only silence.

Forced to stay awake,
Sitting here thinking,
Of a road where we might meet again one day.
Tell me, my heart,
Why are they not by my side?
And how did we ever live a single day before them?

We used to stay up late,
Our joy only multiplying.
Luck itself loved our meetings.
If things were clouded,
A single laugh would intoxicate us,
Washing away any pain tucked deep inside us.

If only it were possible to forget you,
I would have forgotten your love and your passion.
Why is it that even in your absence and cruelty,
I am still waiting for you in my night?

You walked away, leaving so much of yourself in me.
Even joy, it turns out, comes with bills to pay.
I used to be someone who loved change,
But the change of their absence is too heavy a burden to bear.

It was a contract I signed in good faith,
Yet all its clauses were tears and harshness.
My feet were lured in with tenderness,
Until suddenly, I found myself drowning in deep waters.

I long to wake up, open my eyes,
And find your eyes beside me, protecting me.
To rescue me from the midst of my torment,
To bring my soul back and revive me.

You are leaving me,
And what is even left?
Answer me, my heart
What am I living for?
You no longer have anything new to offer,
No heartbeat that matters or does any good.
Is it your destiny, then, to remain lonely?
Is it written that you must stay far away from them?

And so I stay imprisoned inside a time gone by,
Merely pretending to live through the days.
I wait for you only when I go to sleep,
Hoping you’ll come to illuminate my dreams.

Will you leave again?
Go and forget me?
In your absence, sorrows fill me up...

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Arabic version:

هتغيب تاني

تروح تنسانى

ف بعدك تملانى الاحزان

وارجع ابكى

لحيطانى اشكى

وافضل محبوس جوا زمان

ينزل دمعى

غصبا عنى

قلبى يعلى صوت الدقات

مكسور املى

مقتول حلمى

كل ما انادى الرد سكات

مجبر اسهر

قاعد افكر

ف طريق نتلاقى يوم فيه

قولى يا قلبى

ليه مش جمبى

وازاى عشنا فى يوم قبليه

كنا بنسهر

فرح بيكتر

كان الحظ يحب لقانا

لو متعكر

ضحكه تسكر

اى وجع متشال جوانا

لو كان ينفع انى انساك

كنت نسيت حبك و هواك

ليه حتى فى بعدك و جفاك

لسه ف ليلى انا بستناك

ماشى و سايب فيا كتير

حتى الفرح اهو ليه فواتير

دانا كنت بحب التغيير

بس غيابه ده حمله تقيل

عقد مضيته بحسن النيه

كل بنوده دموع و قسيه

اتجرت رجلى بحنيه

فجاه لقيتنى ف وسط الميه

انا نفسى اصحى افتح عينى

القى عينيك جمبى بتحمينى

من وسط عذابى تنجينى

ترد الروح فيا و تحيينى

هتغيب عنى

وفاضل ايه

رد يا قلبى

انا عايش ليه

مبقاش عندك اي جديد

نبض ولا يحل و لا يفيد

مكتوب يعنى تبقى وحيد

مكتوب عنه تبقى بعيد

وافضل محبوس جوا زمان

واهو اسمى بعيش الايام

بستناك انا لما بنام

تيجى تنورلى الاحلام

هتغيب تانى

تروح تنسانى

ف بعدك تملانى الاحزان

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You’ve grown content with being defeated,
Just for a daily crust of bread.
You’ve grown content with being wronged,
Hiding away from the judgment of eyes.
You’ve surrendered to the circumstances;
Everything rushes past you, leaving you behind.
Your heart beats with nothing but fear...
It no longer matters if you die.

Part II: The Ghost of the Past

Let life pass its judgment upon you;
All this agony is by your own hand.
Your soul weeps for what used to be...
A human now stuck in the “once upon a time.”
What is left now for you to hold?
To live for, or to weep over?
The scent of decay has filled the air;
Your soul no longer has a homeland here.

Part III: Throw Down the Sword

Throw down your weapon; enough with the grief.
It no longer matters, it carries no weight.
Who even said this was our war?
Or that pain was written as our fate?
Let go of the past,
Forget the wounds.
Say to the struggle:
“Forgive me, I beg.”
Let me fade away;
I’ve grown old before my time.
There is no destiny left,
And no lover to find.
It’s either defeat,
Or a lack of peace.
How I long to sleep
And forget what has been.

Part IV: The Search for an Alternative

Why are people so certain
That life must be lived this way?
Accustomed to tears,
Built upon depression.
Tell me, where can I find a fate
Where happiness is actually possible?
Just point me toward the alternative,
And believe me... I’ll leave this place behind.

Part V: The Illusion of Survival

Should I sell my hope and lose my way?
Can we broadcast this? The story of a low-life.
Between two paths, my heart is a prisoner,
And the end is always the same: sorrow.
Everyone has lost, even life itself;
The illusion of staying, the illusion of escape.
I won’t deny there’s still a longing
For a joy we still crave...
But there are no winners here;
Everyone has lost, oh you who still hope.

Part VI: The Death of Hope

Blind be the heart, and blind be the eye,
Deprived of every smile.
You’ve started to insult your own soul
Just to say, “At least we are covered.”
Would you rather bow your head or starve?
Truth is one; it has no branches.
Lower your weapon, throw down the shields;
Hope has died, and there is no return.

Part VII: The Cursed

What kind of illusion do you believe?
Are we the oppressors or the oppressed?
There is nothing here but losers...
The cursed people of defeat.
Every breath is a fire in the ribs,
And how can tears ever put it out?
You have sold out, accepting submission;
The taste of pain is more merciful than hunger.

Arabic Version:

بقيت موافق تنهزم

لاجل لقمة يوم ويوم

بقيت موافق تتظلم

تتدارى من حكم العيون

بقيت مسلم للظروف

كله عليك يجرى يفوت

قلبك بينبض بس خوف

مبقتش تفرق لو تموت

سيب الحياه تحكم عليك

كل عذابك ده بايديك

روحك بتبكى ع اللى كان

انسان ف خانة كان زمان

دلوقتى فاضل بس ايه

هتعيشله او تبكى عليه

فاحت خلاص ريحة العطن

مبقاش لروحك فيه وطن

ارمى السلاح كفايه هم

مبقتش تفرق او تهم

مين بس قال دى حربنا

وان الوجع مكتوبلنا

سيب اللى راح

انسى الجراح

قول للكفاح

ارجوك سماح

سيبنى اغيب

قربت اشيب

ومفيش نصيب

ولا فيه حبيب

ماهو يا انهزام

يا مفيش سلام

ياما نفسى انام

وانسى اللى كان

ليه البشر متاكدين

ان الحياه بتتعاش كده

على الدموع متعودين

ع الاكتئاب متاسسه

قولى الاقى فين مصير

فيه السعاده ممكنه

شاورلى بس ع البديل

صدقنى همشى من هنا

يعنى ابيع املى واضيع ؟

ينفع نذيع ؟ قصة وضيع

بين سكتين قلبى سجين

و اخرها ايه برده حزين

كله خسر حتى الحياه

وهم البقاء وهم النجاه

منكرش لسه فيه حنين

لفرحه لسه مشتاقين

بس مفيش هنا كسبانين

كله خسر يا عشمانين

اعمى يا قلب واعمى يا عين

من كل ضحكه محرومين

بقيت خلاص نفسك تهين

عشان تقول اه مستورين

عايز تطاطى ولا تجوع

ده الحق واحد ملوش فروع

نزل سلاحك ارمى الدروع

مات الامل وملوش رجوع

باي وهم مصدقين

ظالمينا ولا مظلومين

مفيش هنا غير خسرانين

اهل الهزيمه الملعونين

كل نفس نار ف الضلوع

و ازاى تطفيها الدموع

بايع وراضى بالخضوع

طعم الوجع ارحم يا جوع

I asked for a sign, I looked at the stars.
The chatters of the people, the sound of the cars.

My heart, My poor heart... is so full of scars.

I asked her, for a value, for a reason to exist.
She laughed, moved away, she’s able to resist.

I fell, as usual, I lost my sanity.
Same feelings, same tears, addicted to her vanity.
I wanted a way out, a story, not a doubt.
An answer not a question, a rule with no exception.

But here I am, still giving a damn.
And where is she? With Ted? With Joe? With SAM?

Wow that rhymes.... hmm... well

In darkness my soul, is asking for a role
The victim of my stories, is aching to be more

This is so tiring, let’s change the plot.
The sun, oh, it’s rising.
The people here are hot.
And look at their smiles.
Their eyes say it all
Happiness for miles
Delivered to your door.

We’re dancing for no reason.
My heart is feeling calm
My happiness is no treason.
I’m cured of her charm

Do I like my story now?
Can I make it so?
Should I just take my bow?
Will you let me know?

Will... you... let... me... know?

She’s back. She’s back.

Wait, why is she back?
I really can’t take it
My heart and its crack
Stop her, she will break it

Just go... Please. Go.
Well, fuck, Oh, no.

My heart is owned.
By someone who isn’t me
I tried but I’m tired
My eyes, can you see?

We lost,
the sun disappeared.
She won,
it was a breeze
And now, we’re back, another heart attack
The same old story, chatters, with no glory.
And now, I am sorry. It’s ok, don’t you worry.

Because life... is more than black
And the sun... will always come back.
She’ll leave... she’ll get bored.
Her love?... No I’m not sold.
I’ll dance... my heart out
No screams... not one shout

But can I write stories?
Can I find a way?
This ending is not for me
Tell me what to say

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I don’t want to rhyme
This feels like a crime.
I say that I’m fine,
I’m lying all the time.

I want to be free
of rules and “should be.”
I want to be yours…
be blind, and then see.

I don’t know what this is.
I don’t know what love is.

Is it the heart?
Is it the heat?
I’m dumping every single beat.
Just come… and take your seat.

This one-man show is so neat.

I’ll tell you all about
their floods and my drought.
My whispers always shout
I’m letting it all out.

But wait wait I know.
I’ve been here before.
You won’t say no.
You won’t say yes.

Oh, you will let me go.
I feel it, I just know.
I want it
and oh no
you don’t want it too.

And love, what are you?
I fear I will never know
not now, not when I grow,
not in this lifetime.

Finally… I lost the rhyme.
Maybe… this is my sign.

The year is about to end.
Another will begin.
And you… your ghost… my mind is so lost.

I will be waiting, for love.
I will be waiting, my love.
I will be waiting… to know.

Have a happy and peaceful end of year! And a fantastic 2026! You all deserve happiness.

English Version:

Her eyes… oh, they bring me back to life.
With just one look, they carry me away.
I swear to you… ah, I’m crazy for you,
I’ve never seen beauty like yours, not once.

Oh, those eyes, my lady,
With their lashes and your love’s breeze.
With my soul, I’ll never forget you,
And I’ll stay yours, whatever comes.

This is my luck… there’s nothing like it,
Seeing you beside me, night and morning.
It’s impossible for my heart to lean away
When I’m lost inside your tenderness.

Loving you has a whole new meaning,
Your love lives deep inside me, certain and true.
Your place in my heart grows every day,
And through my tears, your kindness appeared.

I’ll sing for the sweetest thing in the world,
And let my heart melt into you.
I’m not deluded… I’m just mad,
Madly in love with your soul.

I say “my love,” and my heart speaks too,
I lived my life not understanding:
Some joys leave, some joys stay long
But beside you, my happiness remained.

My precious one… what could be dearer than you?
My hope, my every dream.
The sun may vanish in the middle of the night,
But the sun of your eyes wakes me up.

Why would I leave you, or drift away?
Your arms are my home, my place.
This world is full of wounds,
But your heart has never hurt me.

Why would I leave you, or drift away?
Your arms are my home, my place.
What more could I want or
When you’re right here in front of me?

Arabic Original:

عينهاا اه منهم بيِحيونِى

بنَظرِتهُمْ بياخدونِى

و احْلِفلِك اه مجنونِك

و عمرى ما شفتْ فى جمالِك

و اه ليهم يا مولاتى

بِرَمشِتِهُم و بِهَواكى

بِروحى عمرى ما انساكى

و هفضل ليكى مهما يكون

ده حَظِى ملوش حقيقى مثيل

بشوفِك جنبى صُبحْ وليل

و صعب بجد قلبى يميل

و شاافِك تااه فى الحَاانِك

بحبِك ليها معنى جديد

و عشقِك جوه منى اكيد

مَقاامِك كل يوم بيزيد

فى وسط دموعى جه حنانِك

هغنى لاحلىْ شئ فى الكون

و اسيب القلب فيكى يِدووب

و مش موهوم لكن مجنون

لروحِك ايوه انا عاشق

حبيبتى بقولْ و قلبى يقولْ

و عشت العمر مش فاهم

فى فرحْ يروح و فرحْ يطوول

وجنبِك فرحِتى دامِت

يا غاليه و اغلى منك ايه

يا امَلِى و كل احلامِى

تغيب الشمس وسط الليل

و شمس عنيكى تصحالى

اغيب عنِك او ابعد ليه

ده حضنِك بيتى و مكانى

دى دنيا الجرح فيها كتير

و قلبِك عمره ما أَذَانِى

اغيب عنِك او ابعد ليه

ده حضنِك بيتى و مكانى

هعوز و اتمنى تانى ايه

كفايه ان انتى قدامى

Thank you for everything! My year became so much better once I discovered this place!

Maybe I’m losing it.
Maybe I never had it.
Maybe I was never meant to be here.
Maybe it’s all a curse,
maybe I lost the verse,
maybe it will never be clear.

But maybe there’s a chance.
Maybe I can dance.
Maybe
maybe
someday.

I want to find the meaning.
I want to make it make sense.
My heart... are you bleeding?
My bones... why so tense?

I’m calling for myself,
I’m asking all the stars,
the dust on my shelves,
the pain beneath the scars.

The tears,
the fears,
the machine and its gears...
I need a way out
until this fog clears.

I’m not who I was,
no purpose and no cause.
I’m breathing through my nose;
my fire only grows.

I’m tired and I’m lost.
My brain is almost toast.
My body is still working,
my soul is a ghost.

But maybe it’ll be different.
Maybe I’ll wake up.
Maybe it’s not difficult.
Maybe it will stop.

I’ll be happy again.
Dancing in the rain.
Maybe
maybe

someday.

Maybe
maybe
someday

English Version (Translated from the original Arabic poem):

In front of your eyes... what can I do,
Except surrender... just die inside your view.
I’ve said these words to many before, it’s true,
But this is the first time I actually feel them too.

No really, wait...
I have a question to ask,
Are you from heaven...
or from the fire’s mask?

Please, explain...
I’m so confused,
Teach me your secrets,
Show me your truth.

I don’t know what’s happening,
I was just fine,
You woke my imagination,
Now I can’t close my eyes.

Sorry I’m quiet,
I’ve run out of lines,
My world feels perfect...
Or is it a dream of mine?

I swear I don’t get it,
This can’t be real,
But if we talk it out,
What would I reveal?

In front of your gaze,
I lose all control,
My heart in your love...
Just surrendered, whole.

I don’t know whether to get close,
Or walk away,
I just want to try,
To love in a new way.

Come closer, calm me,
Tell me it’s true,
That your love will keep me,
And I won’t lose you.

I won’t deny it... I’m scared,
I’m lost and unsure,
But now I can see...
You’re the reason, the core.

Smile... make me live
This beautiful feeling,
And swear to me, darling,
That you’re just a human like the rest of us.

My original Arabic poem:

قدام نظراته انا هعمل ايه

غير انى اسلم و اموت ف عينيه

ده كلام انا قولته لكتير قبليه

و دى اول مره احس انا بيه

لا بجد استنى

عندى استفسار

انتا من الجنه

ولا من النار

ارجوك فهمنى

دانا فيك محتار

قولى و علمنى

كل الاسرار

مش عارف مالى

دانا كنت تمام

صحتلى خيالى

مبقتش بنام

معلش انا ساكت

مش لاقى كلام

انا دنيتى راقت

ولا دى احلام

ايوه انا مش فاهم

ماهو مش معقول

طب لو نتفاهم

ايه يعنى هقول

قدام نظراتك

انا مش مسئول

دا القلب ف حبك

سلم على طول

مش عارف اقرب

ولا امشى بعيد

انا نفسى اجرب

و احب جديد

قرب طمنى

قولى انه اكيد

حبك هيصونى

مش هبقى وحيد

منكرش انا خايف

وان انا محتاس

ما خلاص انا شايف

ان انتا اساس

اضحك عيشنى

اجمل احساس

بالمره احلفلى

انك من الناس

The English Version:
—
Every day, inside my dream
They come to touch me, then I wake.
I rise to find the world in clouds,
The sorrows live inside my core.

I call out to them just once more...
The silence lasts, the words are lost.
Perhaps it’s just a dream... and when I sleep,
I’ll wake and go back to what was.

Every single word carries a memory,
And every memory has a story.
Every story that we start to tell
Always ends, somehow, with a laugh.

A tear may fall, but it’s okay...
A prison my heart has learned to love.
A heartbeat living in the past;
After you, my life is hollow.

You, whose voice is a piece of me...
All my life, it will follow me.
If in reality I won’t meet you,
Inside my dream, you’ll come to me.

And I recall the meaning of warmth
That was forgotten after you left.
My heart is drowning in cruelty,
After your embrace was gone.

So tell me, Patience... answer me,
Where do I find the cure?
My heart’s grown tired of wondering,
No matter how it stretches, it can’t reach.

Tears fall every night,
A melody of despair and pain.
Where’s the strength, where’s the will?
No more burdens, sorrow... enough.

And when I close my eyes, I drift,
Remembering our final goodbye.
If only fate allowed again...
A hug to heal our ache.

I remember your breath that day,
And my eyes’ fear for yours.
If we could go back to that moment,
I’d promise: I’ll never let go of your hand.

But I know, and you also know,
A thousand “ifs” and a thousand “sorrys.”
My life is still standing still;
It will never forget what has passed.

The pain, the night, and all that followed;
The torment... I’ve reached its end.
My heart remembers every scene.
It beats, yes, but it is dead.

Original Arabic Version (In case you’re interested):

—

جوه حلمى كل يوم

يجى يلمسنى اقوم

اصحى الاقى الكون غيوم

عايشه جوايا الهموم

و اندهه مره كمان

طال السكات تاه الكلام

يمكن دا حلم و لما انام

اصحى و ارجع للى كان

كل كلمه شايله ذكرى

وكل ذكرى ليها قصه

كل قصه نبتديها

تنتهى دايما بضحكه

دمعه تنزل بس عادى

سجن بيه القلب راضى

فعل عايش بس ماضى

بعد منك عمرى فاضى

ياللى صوتك حته منى

طول حياتى هيلازمنى

لو حقيقى مش هقابلك

جوه حلمى هتقابلنى

و افتكر معنى الدفا

اللى بعدك اتنسى

قلبى غرقان ف القسا

بعد حضنك ما اختفى

طب يا صبرى رد قول

فين الاقى الحلول

قلبى مل من الفضول

مهما طال مبقاش يطول

دمع ينزل كل ليل

لحن يائس كله ويل

فين يا طاقه فين يا حيل

لا يا هم كفايه شيل

واما اغمض عينى بسرح

وافتكر لحظه وداعنا

لو قدرنا بس يسمح

حضن يشفيلنا وجعنا

فاكر انفاسك يوميها

خوف عنيا على عينيك

لحظة لو رجعنا ليها

وعد عمرى ما اسيب ايديك

بس عارف و انتا عارف

الف لو و الف اسف

برده عمرى لسه واقف

عمره ما هينسى اللى فات

و الوجع و الليل و اخره

و العذاب انا جبت اخره

كل مشهد قلبى فاكره

اه بينبض بس مات

I hope you enjoyed this! Translating poetry is never easy, but for some reason I kept coming back to this poem last week.

Maybe because it was the beginning of a new chapter, or maybe because the death of my father was a major turning point in my life and it brought me back to writing.

I might also start posting more in the upcoming weeks… we’ll see.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this! Have a wonderful day.

Support a starving artist or something.

I had never experienced anything like it,
not before I first laid my eyes on her.

But me? I'm just me.
The normal guy.
Maybe not even normal.
So I did what I always do...
I shrank.

I drowned inside my clouded mind,
hiding... suffocating…
tolerating the pain I so cruelly inflicted on myself.

But she didn't care.
She kept trying.
Trying to get past my defenses.
Trying to make me see
there's so much more to life…
and that shrinking is not living.

Angels walk among us
just to show us
that we can fly too.

Maybe I'm too hard on myself.
Or maybe I've mistaken
realness for self sabotage.

But this angel taught me something:
I don't have to drown.
I can breathe.
I can believe.

I can even make an angel smile.

Basically:

That’s it! Thank you so much for reading, it genuinely means the world to me.
This is actually my first time posting directly on Substack, and honestly… I’m terrified.
I’d love to know what you think.

And in the spirit of doing scary things, here’s me crossing another barrier:
maybe buy me a coffee? support my writing? whatever this is?

Please feel free to ignore this part… I’m just grateful you’re here.

Support a lost writer

English Version:

Wave after wave,
why does the sea rage so?
I stretched out a hand of need,
born of weakness, born of woe.
Where have the fishes gone,
sunken out of sight?
The sailors asked, and I replied:
I drown within the night.
The sea itself lives inside me.

Among the ships, O restless winds,
how many keys were lost?
In this world I wander still,
longing for rest at any cost.
And you, O night of sorrow,
dragging years along in chains,
storms and breezes come and go,
old wounds and new remain.

Still I stand, confused,
drowning in water and flame.
Why betray me, O treacherous tide?
Or was vengeance your aim?
Between us there is blood,
when I cast on you my grief.
it deepened your sorrow,
and made your joy wear the mask of grief.

Who was I to speak to then?
All are lost, astray,
unable to bear the weight,
uncertain of the way.
Yet after dusk comes dawn again,
I’ll whisper to the stars of night,
and dream of a day of clarity,
an end to lines of blight.

After night must come the day,
and the sun proclaims its will:
“Can you choose to live without fire,
or are these words a lie to fill?”
Illusion piled on illusion,
in this world, dreams decay.
They die as quickly as they’re born,
they vanish without delay.

Why will I hide, O days,
and choose to live deceived?
I’ll accept the weight of sorrow,
I’ll accept a life aggrieved.
Calm yourself, O sea, and wake,
which of us has not been thieved?
In this world, even the fallen
claims he is the one who leads.

If you’re interested in the Arabic Version:

موجه ورا موجه

والبحر ليه غضبان

مديت ايد الحوجه

من الضعف و الحرمان

فين السمك غطسان

سالوا المراكبيه

وانا قولت ليه غرقان

والبحر عاش فيا

وسط السفن يا رياح

ضاع منا كام مفتاح

فى الدنيا انا سواح

نفسه ف يوم يرتاح

وانتا يا ليل يا حزين

عمال تجر سنين

اعاصير كتير و نسيم

جرح جديد و قديم

وانا زى منا محتار

غرقان ف ميه و نار

طب و انتا ليه غدار

ولا ده اصلا تار

بينى و بينك دم

لما رميتلك هم

زود عليك الغم

و الفرح فيك اتسم

طب كنت هحكى لمين

كل البشر تايهين

ع الحمل مش قادرين

والجى مش عارفين

بعد الغروب فيه شروق

واحكى لنجوم الليل

واحلم بيوم ما اروق

تخلص سطور الويل

بعدك ياليل في نهار

والشمس جايبه قرار

ينفع صحيح اختار

واعيشها من غير نار

ولا ده كله كلام

وهم من الاوهام

فى الدنيا دى الاحلام

بتموت اوام ف اوام

واتدارى ليه يا ايام

و اختار اعيش مخدوع

انا هرضى بالاحزان

هرضى اعيش موجوع

اهدى يا بحر و فوق

مين فينا مش مسروق

فى الدنيا دى المتساق

بيقول انا اللى بسوق

I hope you enjoyed it!
And again please let me know what you think!